This Isn't What I Went To School For... Or Is It?

Hello, world. I know there’s this something that my heart is telling me I should write – if for no one else, then for my own benefit. I’m gonna try to pen it all out on here, but I’m really not sure how to start, so bear with me. Loads of it may not be very coherent, or even correct, and it may turn out to be just a whole bunch of rambles. It may also turn out to be kind of long. But it’s all stuff that I’ve been meaning to record for a long time, and perhaps there will be some small nugget in here that may be helpful to you. Here goes nothin’:

THE IRON ROD

I and other members of my faith love to read this book called The Book of Mormon. In it, we read about a certain “rod of iron” that a man named Lehi has a really vivid and even life-changing dream about. Since The Book of Mormon is a non-fiction book about events that did actually occur, Lehi was a real person. Lived approximately 600 years before Jesus Christ was born in the little Palestinian town of Bethlehem. Lehi was a prophet of God as well as a faithful husband to his wife and a loving father to his children.

Colloquially, we “Mormons” (members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints) call the “rod of iron” the “iron rod.” We even have a great hymn about it in our hymnal from which we sing at church on Sundays. (Hymn #274, actually. Ooo la la.)

Hold to the rod, the iron rod; ‘tis strong, and bright, and true.

The iron rod is the word of God; ‘twill safely guide us through.

That’s what the chorus lyrics are. If you’re reading this and you’re not familiar with what the iron rod is, or what it symbolizes (ah! you see? I just gave you a clue as to what it is: it’s symbolic of something deep and important!), then I encourage you to read about it from the very best source, which is – yes, I’ve already told you a couple of paragraphs ago – The Book of Mormon!

One way to look at the iron rod, is seeing it as a way of life that’s dedicated to trusting in God and following Christ’s teachings and example of how to live, and faithfully and prayerfully living accordingly. (That may have been a weirdly-written sentence, but … well … oh well; it is what it is.) And what that way of life leads to, if the best of efforts are put into accomplishing that way of life, is the greatest of all gifts – the greatest of all prizes to be won – by any person. (Again, read more about it here.)

OH, YA KNOW – JUST LIVIN’ THE DREAM…

These days, here in the middle of my mortality, in this current chapter in my book of life, I feel like my life is pretty charmed. You know how sometimes you ask your friend as you’re greeting them, “Hey! How are you!?” and they reply, “Oh, ya know – just livin’ the dream…” Common answer, right? People in America say that phrase all the time. It’s a verbal cliché of casualness that people use when they are feeling too lazy to answer “how are you” with any intricateness whatsoever.

But I just want you all to know, that if you ask me how I’m doing nowadays, and I answer you gustoically with “Livin’ the dream!” … just know that I truthfully, earnestly mean it! Sure, there are things going on in my life that aren’t exactly what I’d like for them to be, and I absolutely do have my tough times and rough days to deal with… But all in all? Life is so good. Aside from the oftentimes-difficult challenges that pop up like startling jack-in-the-box clowns……

……there are so many other things that are so good. I love my job; I love interacting daily with the wonderful people whom I get to call my friends and family; I love serving in my church and community in the ways I do; I love the country that I call home; I love the hobbies that I practice……

And here’s what I attribute much of it to: education.

EDU-MA-CATION

Lots of people go to college. I am among those lots. I had the pleasure of attending Brigham Young University – Idaho and receiving a Bachelor’s degree from there.

When I was a fresh new 18-year-old freshman, I knew exactly what I wanted to be when I grew up. Oodles of the rest of the student body didn’t. I felt lucky, and felt like I was totally ready and equipped to gun for my degree and git ‘er done.

But that’s how I felt for only the first week of school or so. I was sitting in one of my classes one morning – one of those introductory class sessions where they go over the projected schedule for the semester – and some goofy thought seized my thinking cap. I think I need to change majors. This isn’t for me. I don’t know why, but this isn’t for me, I thought.

Back in high school, I really loved the studies that my original college major entailed (the major that I just mentioned that I had abandoned). Like, it was my passion. But fast-forwarding to that day when I decided to abruptly change my major, I remembered that, in high school, I was also really passionate about writing and editing. I had been a writer and lead copy editor for our school’s multiple-time award-winning yearbook. The written word had always been one of my greatest loves. And so to further my work in that field collegiately? Awesome. Let’s go for it! I said.

MAJORS, MINORS, TRA-LA-LA

I still had a special place in my heart for my original major (music), so I couldn’t bag that eternally. It still meant a lot to me. And so I made it my minor. Intensely important choice I made, that was. You’ll see why later in this post.

Zooming through my four years at my university, I’ll just tell you that, yes, I did fill my Communication-major journey with Titanic-loads of writing, editing, event planning, advertising, and radio and television broadcast experience, both academic and professional in nature. I felt like I had become as seasoned of a communications guru as a fresh-off-the-grill college grad could possibly be.

I finished my degree off with a big bang, by successfully completing an absolutely fabulous internship in Washington, D.C., practically on Pennsylvania Avenue. Did tons of public affairs work that involved foreign Ambassadors to the United States. Did tons of correspondence writing that I perceived to terribly nifty and exciting. What an internship. What a summer.

Right after those Back East months, I knew I wanted to keep writing. It was too much fun. I landed several interviews to be a writer/editor for different magazines and newspapers. My notion with each interview was that I had a pretty decent chance of landing the job……

JOB HUNTING = BARF

Never happened, though. Never landed my “dream job.” Not for several months. Kept shooting for it to happen. Kept getting interviews, but was never chosen. I think it had a bit to do with the nation’s overall economy. I think that year was perhaps the USA’s worst year in its latest economic downturn. Yeah, there were tons of kids getting degrees, but the jobs seemed to be fewer. Too much demand, too little supply, in the job sense.

Ladies and gentlemen, these “job hunting” months were possibly the darkest of all my Alisonian time periods. I’ve had plenty of sad stuff occur in my life, but I was always able to find comfort in those trials. This time was somehow very different, and for some weird reason, a lot harder to feel solace in. This time, it was an especially prolonged trial that felt more like I was exhaustedly treading water in a deep well, rather than healing up from a cut in my emotional skin, on which I could apply ointment and receive some relief.

This time? Just downright stinky. Bummeriffic. I’ve never had to undergo long-term depression, never had to take medicine for it. But at this time? I thought, I wonder if this is kind of what depression feels like. With every interview I had, I became bluer and bluer, and I know that it showed in my eyes, face, and mannerisms. The interviewers could see it. I’d go sob in my car sometimes, after an interview.

PLEASANTLY SURPRISING TURN FOR THE BETTER

And then I applied for one more job. Different from everything else I had previously sought after, I noticed an opening for a technical writer, and I thought, I don’t think I know anything about technical writing, but hey! I’m good at many different writing styles, so how hard could technical writing be?

Applied. Interviewed. Nailed it. They wanted me. I said “great!” Didn’t know what I was getting myself into. But it was the happiest day I had had in a long, long time.

It was originally supposed to be only a three-month gig. They thought they’d hire someone on for just a tiny bit, because once the project they needed done was done, they wouldn’t need the person anymore. I knew about that, going into the interview, and perhaps the knowledge of the temporariness should have been a big turn-off, but some little bird prompted me to get interviewed anyway, and accept the job if they offered it.

And they did offer it! (Oh, I think I already said that. Hehe.) And you know what? What ended up happening is them creating a permanent spot for me. They liked me well enough to do that. They wanted to keep me. It was awesome. Over the span of 4.5 years, I learned so much about science and business and exporting (no, I did not take a drug cartel job) than I ever thought I would ever know about.

Other things too: I memorized all the different types of Vitamin B. I learned how to handle an FDA (Food & Drug Administration) audit. I learned how to train fellow employees on Good Manufacturing Practices (GMP). I learned what it means to build good relationships with clients and help them accomplish their business goals. I built great relationships and friendships with people I worked with. I learned how a corporation works, how a warehouse works, how chemistry and microbiology laboratories smell and work, how a plethora of various factory machineries work. Oh my rad. It all rocked. Sometimes I even got to do what I used to love to do in college: event planning! Planned the company Christmas parties! Once even had a handsome Mormon celebrity’s phone number stored in my phone, because I had invited him and his comedy team be the entertainment for the shindiggity-dig…… (**COUGH**CurtDoussett**COUGH**)

What a pleasantly surprising turn for the better. There was such a massive contrast between what those long-ago darksome months of job hunting were, and what those 4.5 years of being a budding businesswoman were. Even though it was never my plan, back in college, to be a businesswoman in that particular realm, I believe it was what I was prepared to do and meant to do. I know God’s hand was all over that.

WHAT CAME NEXT

And then, out of the blue, I got a phone call from the Human Resource Department of my current workplace. Now it was they who wanted me to work for them. It felt like the right time in my life for a change, for another wonderful opportunity to grow myself as a professional and as a person. I took them up on the offer, and a year or two later, here I am.

It’s seriously a dream job that I have now. Again, it wasn’t what I thought would be my dream job, back in high school and college. It wasn’t “music teacher.” It wasn’t “big-time magazine editor.” It wasn’t anything that had even crossed my mind, let alone ever conceptualized in my mind.

But I think it’s what God knew would be my dream job. I think He knew it all along.

DIDN’T GO ACCORDING TO PLAN, BUT IT’S FAR BETTER THAT WAY

And so here I sit, on a sweet Saturday afternoon, gazing out the window at the year’s first snowfall on the ground, contemplating and writing about all that’s good in my life right now, and the bumpy, twisty, turny, sometimes-turbulent road that got me here. I’m thinking a lot about college – a lot about how some of the specific types of work I did in college aren’t anywhere near being ridiculously similar to the types of work I’m doing nowadays. And by that, I mean I’m not writing and editing for publications, and I don’t regularly plan fancy parties and seminars (though I do get to help do that every now and then – oh fer yay!).

But the works I’m doing now are what God knew, from the very beginning, were going to someday be my dream works. (Bahaha! No “DreamWorks” animation studios pun intended!) I’ve lately been noticing how many, many times His hand has been guiding me through my days and life chapters.

-- He led me to learn piano when I was tiny, and to keep working at it. I’d srrrrsly need that initial musical foundation later, like srsly

-- He led me through junior high and high school, years during which I solidly learned that music was my passion (alto sax and choir, baby!)

-- He led me to be on the yearbook staff

-- He led me to my university, helped me with all my responsibilities there, and encouraged me to try new neat things that would help me grow and learn wisdom

-- He led me to D.C.

-- He led me through the awful job hunting quagmires, until He helped me land that splendid sciency, businessy job that I at first thought was totally not up my alley, but it totally was

-- He led me to live in that one terrific town I lived in, and make terrific friends there

-- He led me to move to the next terrific town, and make even more terrific friends there

-- He led me to try out for the Mormon Tabernacle Choir (MoTab). I made it in on my first try, on what at first seemed like a whim, but the longer I ponder it, the more I soundly understand that I was meant to be there all my life. Heavenly Father knows what he’s doing with me

-- He led me to the right people. In my MoTab “night job” I have some flipping-good “besties.” In my professional day job, I have more besties. They are circles of incredible folks who are just what the doctor ordered for me; meaning, I feel like my happiest self when I’m with them. Not only them, but my family too. Again, Heavenly Father knows! And it is my firm belief that He has led you – or will lead you – to the very best people for you, because of your faith

NOT ALL ROADS ARE THE SAME

Not everyone has the same road and life as me. Some people’s roads don’t include college. Some people’s roads do include college, but they are those whose careers do have a lot to do with the specific studies they studied in their classes, practicums, internships, externships, apprenticeships, residencies, la la la.

Some people know what they want to be when they grow up, and they will be that, no questions asked. Some people will change their minds quite a few times, concerning what occupation they want to stick with.

Some people are married now, while others, including myself, are still “working on it” ;)

Some people feel like Little Miss Rapunzel here:

FEELING COMPLETE FOR THE TIME-BEING

I want to let you know that, although I feel like I’m totally “livin’ the dream” right now, I know that my story is not yet finished. I’m not done yet. Have not yet gained all that God has in store for me. He’s led my paths according to His plan so far, and we’ve still got a-ways to go.

So often we want to know everything right now, have everything right now, and to have reached our full potential by right now. Sometimes we forget that a big awesome afghan requires the slow process of crocheting. Each of us is an afghan in the making. We’re not done yet, but we’re looking pretty nice and doing really well so far.

Last summer, a few friends and I were driving home from California. One guy, three gals: Christian, Kerstin, Emily, and me. Christian and Kerstin were sleeping in the back seats, while Em and I had a heart-to-heart life chat. I started saying that my life was a jigsaw puzzle that was in the process of becoming completed. I worded a statement something like: I’m not complete yet. I’m still missing some things. I have not yet accomplished all that I’m supposed to do.

But then she said that she did feel complete. She felt as complete as she could be at that moment in time. Her expressed feelings helped me realize that, although my Alisonian afghan is not yet fully finished, what I am at-present-moment is as complete as it presently should be, that God is in charge of the handiwork, and that He’s making something lovely out of me and taking really good care of me. He’s doing that for each person who will let Him work His wonders on his or her heart, in his or her life.

REMEMBER THAT IRON ROD?

To conclude, I would like for our attentions to jump backwards to when I wrote about the “rod of iron” mentioned in the scriptures.

To me, it seems that part of the definition of what it means to hold fast to the iron rod, alongside feasting upon the “word of God” and keeping Jesus Christ’s commandments, is simply letting the Lord lead you. But instead of the scenario being like this:

Alright, my child, here’s a blindfold for you to put on. Put it on, and I will lead you along.

Rather, I think it’s more like this:

Alright, my child, want to be a team? We can work together. I know what the prize is, and because I love you, I want to help you win it. Sometimes it won’t be easy, and there will be obstacles that will appear on your path, and so you will want to keep your eyes open and watch out for those things. I know your road from beginning to end, like the back of my hand, and so I know how to help you walk it. I would love to help you. Let’s be a team.

And so, in order to let the Lord lead you, your eyes must be open, as well as your ears and heart, so you can listen to His voice through the Holy Ghost’s voice. It will take effort on your part, as it takes effort on my part.

LIVIN’ THE DREAM, ALL THE TIME

God, who is our loving Heavenly Father, will lead us along the iron rod, as we make our way towards everlasting joy. He leads us along, little by little, to be able to taste joy now, too. Future unspeakable joy is in store for us, but some pretty excellent joy can be ours now as we journey on to the ultimate prize.

I know that God is helping me to “live the dream” now, but I now realize that He’s been doing that all my life. There have been so many dreamy and precious eras in my life that I have loved. That was “livin’ the dream.” There will be many more such eras, I am sure. That will be “livin’ the dream” too.

But when we have finished our course here on earth, fought the good fight, and done our very best to trust in God and follow Christ’s example…… Our reward? That will be really “livin’ the dream”!

**This has been an extremely long rambling session by Alison Barton. She did not expect you to read the entire thing. If you did, awesome. Thank you. If you did not, totally understandable. She commends you for reading even just a fragment of it. Writing this was mainly for her own benefit. Have a glorious day. Love you.**