Ragnar. Really, it is so awful. But what it also really, really is? Beautiful, and a lot of it is so delightful. In fact, for me, all of it was delightful, with much of the delight actually being disguised as "eightch-ee-double-toothpicks." There's a term that one of our teammates introduced to the rest of us, at some point towards the end of our Ragnar adventure: "Ragnesia." Ragnesia happens to you when you realize that you have forgotten all about how intensely miserable you were during Ragnar, and you only remember how awesome it was.
I testify that it is real. Ragnesia is real. It really did happen to me. I think it happened to all of us on our team.
THE MISERY
What are the Ragnarian things that are pure, sheer, untarnished misery?
- When you're running your longest, hardest leg through heavy heavy heavy, hot hot hot late-June sunshine, and you're trudging through swarms of lake gnats, mayflies, all the nasty bugs that fly... Meaning, you're by a lovely lake the whole time, BUT... ("But" what?) BUT your eyes wistfully view, off in the distance, many happy, blissful, carefree non-Ragnarians swimming in the water and having a gleeful time, and they are WET AND COLD, and YOU can't jump in there and play with them, no matter how much you want to, because YOU, my PERSPIRING AND HOT friend, have a race to run!!!
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| This is what "HOT" looks like... Gaaahahah. I slay myself. ;) |
- When your amazing and amazingly large and deep blister welcomes itself into your life not on your final leg towards the extreme tail-end of your 200-mile journey. Oh no. Nooo nonononono. Somehow your blister arrives on your third-Ragnar-mile-ever. Yup. Very beginning. And when you first saw that it was there, it was making your right sock gooey. And you've got miles and miles to go, on foot. And the blister is bulging with grody goo relentlessly and unceasingly, and you doctor it all the time, and every time you do doctor it, you have to look at it, and you can see actual skin layers. And you are pretty sure you are looking down into your dermis...... (No photo, because you probably just ate lunch...)
- When 2:00am rolls around and you all have been up running around -- literally -- all day long. It is now time for bed. But you're too tired (or wired) to sleep... And you're too anxious about your next rounds of legs... And you perhaps think that, when you do end up falling asleep, it may take an hour to actually do that...or longer than that...and you'll only end up having a night's sleep that is a grand total of 45 minutes. HECK. Luckily, I think we each ended up getting 2.5 hours of sleep. Nice, huh? (Uhhhh......) Well, at least those of us who slept outside on the grass, under the stars, slept 2.5 hours. And at least I was warm... But those who slept in the car? Ironically (or maybe not ironically?), they were the ones who were freezing, and I'm not sure how long they slept... Poor things...
- Speaking of sleeping... Ripping the entire seat of one of your favorite pairs of pajama pants -- on the way to bedtime -- when you had to hop a fence in order to get onto the grass. R.I.P. Ripped Pants.
- Always always always using honeybuckets and never never never normal toilets for literally almost 40 hours straight. It got old. And you pined for porcelain and flushing mechanisms.
- Arriving at the point where you've all become so incredibly exhausted that you have lost all ability to outwardly express any emotion whatsoever. In fact, you've lost ability to truly feel any emotion whatsoever inside your soul. There is nothing left at all, inside or out. You just want your bed. For 20 hours straight.
That just about covers the basics of what is awful about Ragnar. Along with that is another trial that is to be undergone during Ragnar: the sorrow you feel in your heart for your teammates, when they are on their personal toughest leg. Runner #7 (who was in Van #2 with me) was always the runner to hand off the "baton" to me (it was a slap-bracelet). Her toughest leg was almost 11 miles long, up a mountain, at the hottest time of the day, in that blasted heavy sunshine. Hello that's practically an entire half marathon UPHILL (half marathons -- especially in Utah -- are usually downhill...in the cool of the early morning). When it came to be time for Runner #7 to pass the baton to me, all substance that ever was, is now, and ever will be in my heart went out to her. Guys, that was HARD. Hardest for her. Hard on the rest of us too, imagining just how difficult her journey was on that leg.
And just so you're aware, that leg that she did was the Grandfather Leg of all Ragnar races ever, all across this huge country that is the United States of America. It was the Master Leg. Runner #7's legs conquered the King of Legs. Every person who is the designee to accomplish that leg gets their own medal for it. Yes, the leg has its own medal, and it's actually bigger and better than the one that everybody gets at the conclusion of the entire race.
THE FUN
So your question might be: "So, with all this pain and anguish and languish that you're telling me about, what could possibly be fun and delightful about Ragnar? How can Ragnesia even be real? Why would anyone even do a Ragnar?"
I admit: there is mystery behind why Ragnar is wonderful. I do not yet understand it fully. I don't know if I can explain it very well, but I'll explain the best way I know how. The wonderfulness is weaved into the following:
- The fact that you are constantly in close proximity to some really fun and great people, and you all become great friends by the time you're all done.
- The benevolent charity you show each other throughout the whole grueling process that is Ragnar. Like a loving parent, big sister, or big brother, you're looking out for and earnestly cheering for your teammates -- as well as everybody else you see on the trails! I personally was super thankful for those who called after me: "You can do it!" "You're almost there!" "Do you want me to spray you with this cold water?" (And, to that latter one, I said, "Uhhh OF COURSE!") During Ragnar, you find that you are surrounded by angels who root for you, encourage you, and have prayers in their hearts for you.
- The fact that you're exploring the fantastically beautiful and beautifully fantastic fairylands that comprise the side of the mountain range that many-if-not-most people's eyes have never beheld. All these completely lovely little towns whose names I had never previously heard of in my life. It was so thrilling to be there, and to traverse southward in that countryside with my teammates, each of us on our own two feet!
- The fact that you complete a 200-mile footrace with your friends. Through the outdoor beauty that God has created. TWO-HUNDRED MILES. It is so cool. Such such such a cool feeling to know that you contributed to this marvelous achievement. You achieved this greatness with your people. These are possibly lame words with which to describe the coolness... But that's just because there may not BE any adequate words to describe it!
RAGNAR IS LIKE LIFE
And so... Look me square in the eyes and honestly tell me that this is not what life is like. All of this Ragnar stuff.
I submit to you that the Ragnar experience -- especially the one that I just had -- can be a freakishly valid analogy to how life goes for plenty of us.
For each of us, life has its crummy seasons, and it has its happy seasons. Speaking of seasons and outdoor temperatures... Just like Ragnar, life has its wintry cold times, its scalding hot times. There's sadness and joy.
You rip your pants. Your worldly possessions get broken, lost, stolen.
You become exhausted and say to yourself: "I can't adult today. Please don't make me adult today."
You reach points where you feel like you have no more emotion, or you feel like you lack control of your emotions. Sometimes you feel like you have nothing left to give, or you feel like you lost control and you perhaps did something or said something you wish you could take back. Or this could be something coming from someone else's end, and it's being directed towards you, and you're the one being oppressed. We give a little, and we get a little.
But we also give love and get love. We give goodness, and receive goodness in return. The goodness cycle is such a beautiful cycle. We are blessed when we do what is right, and when we care for each other as friends and family.
All in all, Ragnar's main point was that we did something truly great together as a team. I think that's life's main point too: that you endure, enjoy, and accomplish life together with the people you care about. You're all in this together. WE are all in this together. We help each other, be each other's cheerleaders. With sincerity and no guile. We stick together in the high times and the hard times.
Together, we win the prize when our race is run.
This is life.
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