The Key to Why Blind Dates Are Frustrating (Guest Post)

Something great that my good friend wrote, and I'm giving it a happy home!

The Key to Why Blind Dates Are Frustrating

The following is a guest post from J Washburn.

The other day my mom looked at me, and I could tell she was hesitant, practically holding her breath. And then she blurted out, “I want to tell you about someone, but I get the feeling you’re tired of being set up on blind dates.”

She went on to tell me how one of her friends knows this girl and she thought I should meet her and so on.

I don’t know why, but I’m lucky to have had a lot of friends (and acquaintances) thinking about me lately. Just like my mom, they’re eager for me to be happily married. And, believe me, so am I.

So let me explain why I might appear frustrated about blind dates.

On my first blind date ever (this was my sophomore year of college), I was sitting at a table in a Hawaiian restaurant across from a very beautiful girl. I casually asked her, “So how do you know my friend L?” (L was the one who’d set us up.)

“Actually, I don’t really know her at all,” my blind date replied. “We’re just in a class together.”

I was shocked. And I immediately felt a little mad.

L had led me to believe that this girl was the cream of the crop, hand-picked from among many options, a date that was practically guaranteed to be the one.

But she wasn’t.

I don’t remember many more details, but I remember it was a short date. And I don’t believe I ever saw her again. Not that she wasn’t a nice person, but we had very little in common.

So here’s my point. Maybe I can best explain with a metaphor:

Getting set up is like is like having a friend recommend a movie.

I love movies.

But I don’t love all movies.

And I definitely don’t want to see every single movie that gets released just because there’s an off chance that it may become my new favorite movie ever. I’m not that desperate. I just want to see the best movies. (And I’ll choose my favorite from among them.)

Of course, everyone likes different movies. And sometimes I admit my tastes are a little quirky. I do love a lot of the same movies as my brother, but some of my favorites aren’t his favorites and vice versa. For example, I love TRON, which my brother would say is not one of the best movies. And I hate Prince of Persia, which my brother liked. And I don’t know how to explain that other than to say, “There’s no accounting for taste.” But just because people’s tastes are sometimes random—or partially random—doesn’t mean that people’s tastes can’t be partially explained or predicted too.

I want you to compare these two movie recommendations:

AMIGO ONE says, “Hey, there’s a new movie in the theater and you should see it.”

You can see the reaction on my face right now, can’t you?

It’s not pretty.

AMIGO TWO says, “Hey, I know you like sci-fi movies. Apollo 13 was one of your faves, right? Well, guess what?—there’s this new movie out called Gravity, and I really think you’ll like it. I recommend seeing it in 3D too, even though that’s not normally your thing. Just trust me. It’s a wild ride though, so don’t sit too close to the screen.”

Ha ha. Wow. By the time he’s done giving me that recommendation, my palms are already getting a little sweaty.

Whew.

Of course, the metaphor breaks down here a bit, because when you’re setting me up with, say, TRON, and you think I might like her, you also need to hope that I’m TRON’s type. (And I’m sorry to say that, as charming as I am, there are plenty of movies who don’t like me much.)

I hope that helps you see things from my perspective a little better. To my mom and everyone else wanting to set me up lately: I’m glad you care about me and that you want to see me happy. And I know that even though blind dates are a long shot, they sometimes work. (I have a sister who’s proof of that.) I guess I’m just saying that I love recommendations when people put some thought into it.

So the short answer is that I’m okay with being set up.

But please only set me up with the ones that seem like my type of movie.

— J

J Washburn is the author of several books, including an adventure novel called ECKSDOT. You can learn about his other quirks at www.jwashburn.com. And if you enjoy reading, you’ll want to sign up for his monthly letter, which includes a free ebook.