The Singlehood Vapor

I’ve been single (as in “unmarried”) 100 percent of my life, but it’s taken me just about all my life to finally perceive that singlehood, in a true and tangible social network, is pretty much a vapor. It’s more of an idea and less of an actual gas on the Periodic Table of the Elements, yet often it seems so thick, you could almost take a knife to it and cut it like banana bread. Kind of like the way we imagine we could slice right through smog when it’s gross enough.

The singlehood vapor is constantly being inhaled by people who are single (“singles”), wherever singles of the male and female varieties are found together in the same nook or cranny of planet Earth. The vapor is an alloy made up of constituents that may include the following:

- One’s sincere desire to date someone presently in the room, whether traces of the desire are visibly noticed by others, or hidden in the heart

- Casual flirtation, and the flirtation acceptance and reciprocation thereof

- One’s wish for someone to flirt with them, and the slight disappointment that the apparently unilaterally wanted act does not occur

- One’s bravery to leave their comfort zone for a moment and try expressing their interest in someone

- The ache that one feels when there is no date to be had; likewise, the glee that one feels when a date comes a’calling

- The pangs of a breakup, and the thrills of a brand new relationship

- The inquisitions that married people administer to singles as they ask about the dating scene or attempt to be blind-date spearheaders

- One’s general wonderment as to when their future of matrimony will arrive, and with whom that future will be shared

One interesting thing about the singlehood vapor is that it is only one singular vapor, but in just one singular room it can simultaneously be (ob)noxious to some and aromatherapy to others. It depends on the individual smeller and breather. It depends on how the single man or woman is feeling about the chemistry that’s brewing in the room. It depends on whether the person is happy and excited about what’s happening, or aggrieved about it. It depends on the day and on the specific configuration of people presently in the setting. We each have experienced a time when we’ve called the vapor aromatherapy, and we each have also been known to call it a stinky skunk. In the vast land of singlehood, we can rejoice with each other, as well as sympathize and empathize with each other, because every one of us knows what it’s like to be single, and none of us was born married.

Another interesting thing about the singlehood vapor is that it has the potential to become either a seemingly pleasant addiction for singles who may not mind “playing the game” for the remainder of their days; or an uncomfortably long-term annoyance for singles who may identify themselves as not the all-time luckiest in love.

But then there’s yet another interesting quality in the vapor, which is more like an interesting type of person who isn’t necessarily the person who relishes the vapor or resents it. This is the type of person who is simply content with the vapor, regardless of what odor it has. This type of person, with their best foot forward, enters the room full of fellow singles, goes on a date, or goes anyplace as cheerfully and confidently as they can muster, and continually treasures their life, come what may. Whatever sorts of experiences they are having in the land of singlehood, their main focus continues to be making their way in the world with their head held high, chin pointed up, and their goodness shared with others.

This is the type of person I want to be. This is the type of person I have tried to emulate all throughout my years as a young bachelorette. I, like millions and probably billions of people, have occasionally called my citizenship in the land of singlehood a rollercoaster ride. For all I know, my residence in that land may be for quite a bit longer. But regardless of how much longer I may be there, and whatever my circumstances may be, I want to always be someone who is happy and finds joy in a lot of things. I want to always be someone who lives life to the fullest, which, to me, means lifelong learning, and loving my God, country, family, friends, and neighbors.

I believe that singlehood is a perfect time to live and love life to the fullest. It is a perfect time for self-improvement. It is the perfect time build yourself up as a top-quality human being, which is the prime kind of human being that makes a great spouse and parent.

The strong and optimistic person I am thinking of, who is content with the ever-present singlehood vapor, is not a person who avoids dating, or shoves the goal of marriage down the garbage disposal. On the contrary. To me, this type of person recognizes the importance and nobility of marrying and building a family and home. They recognize that prospective lifestyle as a magnificent destination to reach, and find delight in the journey thereto.