The Magic Words

Fresh chocolate chip cookies of the most delicious recipe lie upon the metal cookie sheet atop the stove in the kitchen. The little 4-year-old kid sees the cookies and exclaims: “I want one! I want one!”

You, as the adult in the house, would love to let the darling child enjoy one of these marvelous cookies, which were prepared with love. When a small child acquires access to such a cookie, usually a huge smile stretches across their face. What adult in the right mind doesn’t get a melty heart whenever they see such a smile take place?

BUT… You don’t just hand over the cookie, do you? Did the kid say please? Here’s how this particular scene often goes:

“I want one! I want one!” says the kid.

You remove a cookie from the sheet, hold it out to the kid (but just barely out of their reach) and ask…

“What do you say?”

The kid ignores the question, and just keeps their tiny hand outstretched, still looking eager.

“What’s the magic word?”

Again, no response from the kid besides some excited panting!

“What. Do. You. Say.”

You’re starting to sound slightly sterner, but you maintain your gentility. After all, this is a child. Be gentle with them.

“Pleeeeeeeeease!”

The kid finally says it.

“Very good. Here ya go.”

You smile and hand them the cookie.

“NOW what do you say?”

There’s one more magic word the kid should offer up.

[Cricket chirps for a second]

“Thank you!” answers the kid.

Success. You’ve taught another round of the “what’s-the-magic-word” lesson. Stop for a moment and think about why we, as adults, teach this lesson to young children. Why do we teach this? Is it not because we want them to develop the wholesome “Please & Thank You” habit and solidify it in their own lives? That’s precisely why.

But as we grow older and become more ingrained in the world, we become more hardheaded. Some of us become less polite with others because we think we somehow deserve more respect, so we demand more respect. Personally, I think a lot of us—including myself—are sometimes guiltier of this than we give ourselves credit for.

Each one of us is a giver and a taker. We give a lot, much of the time without reaping a thank you. We take a lot, much of the time without thinking to say thank you.

A few lessons can be learned from this. The taker’s lesson: just do a better job at remembering to say please and thank you, regardless of how small your taking was. Givers are happier to help humbler askers than the askers who never say please, and they always love to hear sincere thanks.

The giver’s lesson: even in cases when you don’t get any thanks for your efforts, don’t stop giving. Wise advice from the Holy Bible: “And let us not be weary in well doing: for in due season we shall reap, if we faint not.” (Paul the Apostle, Galatians 6:9)

As an active businesswoman in the business world, I’ve learned from personal instances that please and thank you are both greatly appreciated and incredibly welcome. Especially during stressful days when you seem to be far more “giver” than “taker,” a genuine thank you can turn your world around.

May we each do better at practicing what we preach to small children, by making sure we, too, as adults, “mind [our] Ps and Qs.”